When Your Parents Won't Listen

In the SHM Community Forums, Lily responded to one member who shared about her mom who doesn't really listen to what she says. She said:

Mirmi,

As we grow older, we notice more and more about our parents. It took me 40 years to realize that I never felt all those close to my Mother because she is so self involved that there's no room for ME in our relationship. As long as I keep the conversation focused on her, he's full of life. If I talk about my successes, she changes the subject. I am lucky if she can manged a compliment or some type of acknowledgment toward me before she changes the topic, and that's only because I've said to her a thousand times that I don't feel seen or approached by her and if she would just ask me 3 questions about whatever I'm saying before changing the subject, I'd feel a lot better about her. Does she do it? No.

People don't change as much as we'd like. These character traits (narcissistic personality traits) are hard wired and very hard for her to even realize what she's doing. I've learned to live with it and and love her in spite of her personality. I know she loves me and that's the most important thing. I hope some of that related to you in some small way, and I am glad to see that your coming out process has been such a great success.