How To End Your Marriage and Leave Your Spouse

In the SHM Community forums, Manuel wrote a response for a wife who doesn't love his husband anymore but never had the guts to leave her marriage. He said:

Christian,

He might be crying because now he feels pain, whereas before he shut himself down to your pain. My are like that. Pain is only real when it's their pain. Men often cry as a last-ditch resort to make you come back. When he sees it doesn't work watch out for rage to be right behind the pain.

Your best bet is to say as little as possible and just get out of their fif you really plan on going. if you are doing this properly, the time for talk has passed. Don't start pointing out his fault or explaining yourself once you decide to go. Just pack up and go, make it fast, and don't explain a signle thing. He should have heard it all before, and their's no sense in explaining it all again now that your mind is made up.

After everything I've read in your discussions here, it is reasonable for you to do something. After the holidays is a smart.

Plan it carefully.

Where will you go? What will you do? How much $ do you have saved?

Who will help you? Don't try and take stuff out of the house alone. Have a friend, preferably a brother with a truck, even if it is rented. Make sure you have a nice clean place to go to, properly decorated ahead of time and definitely don't give him the address.

Discuss the details with us as much as you feel comfortable. From my view, the more details you mention the better. Many of us have gone through this and might be able to make it easier with you because we can tell you of our mistakes and you can learn from them.

You are not alone here. Just look at the long list of people supporting you. It is very impressive that you have so many people here rallying for you.

Use us when you need us most.

And above all else, do NOT tell him about us, and don't give him our address or your screen name. You might need to talk to us and will want this to be your private place, especially is he's going to try and make you feel bad by turning on the water-works.

Another often tried trick is for the guy to fall apart and start doing stupid things, like spending $ in crazy ways. My own brother started having sex with a 15-year old girl when his wife left him. Imagine that. A grown man. He's such a loser. He only did it so she'd turn around and rescue him.

She was smart and kept walking. She is remarried to someone who knows how to treat her, and he's wedded to someone who is just as ignorant and selfish as he is. They both are much happier now.