Dealing with Someone Who Keeps on Repeating Himself

In the SHM Community Forums, Frank responded to one member who is annoyed by his Dad who keeps on repeating himself no matter what the topic is. He wrote:

Yes!! This is one of the problems that irked me the most about the Aunt who just died in June!

It really pisses me off when older people ask me to repeat myself when they heard me just fine the minute previous and nothing else has changed in the room. This has bothered me so much I even brought it up in therapy once. My therapist told me that their loneliness or neediness might be making them try to extend the conversation.

I have done as Samantha suggested, to not answer. I found that when they sit in that silence after an unneeded request, they don't do it as often, but it creates awkward tension between us.

Now they have all died. After giving this more objective thought, I suspect that if I were to approach it differently, I would not have created such an awkward situation for myslef and for them.

Yeah, if I were to do it again, I would like to try and tell them that I've noticed they ask me to repeat myself when I am sure they have heard what I said the first time. I would ask if they thought they did that because they were lonely. Loneliness can do strange things to people.

My therapist taught me the skill of giving people a way to save face. Then I might continue by saying I'd like to develop a plan with them to avoid getting so frustrated that I want to leave. I know my parents would have been reasonable enough to go along with the plan, but I am not sure about my depressed Aunt. She was mean and snippy and just plain difficult most of the time. She might not have been someone I chose to discuss this with, and rather just not comment.

Any comments? What do you think you'd do to avoid unwanted and habitual repetition, once you are sure they are not deaf?

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